You may have overheard some friends talking about it. Maybe you googled “therapy for trauma” and the letters kept showing up. Or, perhaps a therapy influence popped up on your feed talking about it.
Whatever brought you here, it’s understandable you have questions. What actually happens in an EMDR session? Will you have to relive everything? Is it going to feel strange? And honestly, is it even right for you?
Those are good questions, and they deserve a straight answer. So let’s walk through it together.
What EMDR Actually Is and Where It Came From
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Developed in the late 1980’s by psychologist Francine Shapiro, it is now one of the most extensively researched therapy approaches available, endorsed by the American Psychological Association, the World Health Organization, and the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs.
The basic idea behind EMDR is that our brains have a natural ability to process and heal from difficult experiences, in the same way our bodies heal from physical injuries. However, when something overwhelms us, whether that is a single traumatic event or years of accumulated stress, that natural processing system can get disrupted. The memory gets stored in a way that keeps it feeling raw and present, rather than something that happened in the past. Consequently, it can show up as anxiety, avoidance, intrusive thoughts, emotional reactivity, or a persistent sense that something is just off.
EMDR helps the brain finish what it started.
So What Actually Happens in an EMDR Session?
This is the question most people are genuinely nervous about, and understandably so. Here is what you can expect.
First, EMDR is not a one-session process. Before any active processing begins, you and your therapist will spend meaningful time getting to know each other. Your therapist will learn your history, understand what has brought you in, and identify the specific memories or experiences that are most contributing to your current symptoms. Together, you will also build what therapists call a “toolkit,” a set of grounding and stabilization techniques you can use both in and between sessions. None of this is rushed. Your therapist wants to make sure you feel genuinely prepared before moving into the deeper work.
When active processing begins, here is what it looks like in practice. You briefly bring a specific memory or image to mind, along with the feelings and beliefs connected to it. At the same time, your therapist guides you through bilateral stimulation, which most commonly involves following a moving light or the therapist’s hand with your eyes from side to side. Sometimes tapping or sound is used instead. Sets of eye movements happen in short bursts, followed by a pause where your therapist checks in with you about what came up.
Most people describe the experience as surprisingly gentle. Additionally, many are relieved to find that they do not have to narrate every detail of a painful memory out loud. The processing happens internally, guided by the bilateral stimulation, while the therapist tracks your progress and adjusts accordingly.
Toward the end of each session, your therapist will always bring you back to a calm, grounded state before you leave. You will not walk out of the room mid-process and be left to manage it on your own.
Why the Eye Movements Work
Admittedly, the eye movement part sounds unusual when you first hear it. However, there is solid neurological reasoning behind it.
Research suggests that bilateral stimulation, moving stimulation that alternates between the left and right sides of the body or visual field, activates the brain’s information processing system in a way that is similar to what happens during REM sleep. During REM sleep, your brain naturally processes the events of the day, sorting memories and reducing their emotional charge. EMDR essentially recreates that process in a directed, therapeutic way.
As a result, memories that previously felt overwhelming begin to lose their emotional intensity. They do not disappear. Rather, they shift from feeling like something happening right now to something that happened in the past, which is exactly where they belong.
Is EMDR Only for People Who Have Experienced Major Trauma?
This is one of the most common misconceptions about EMDR, and it is worth addressing directly.
While EMDR was originally developed to treat PTSD, the research has expanded considerably. Studies published in peer-reviewed journals have found EMDR to be effective in treating anxiety, depression, panic disorders, grief, and distressing life experiences that do not meet the clinical threshold for PTSD. Furthermore, research published in Frontiers in Psychology found that general life experiences, including relational problems and persistent stress, can generate the same kind of stuck, unprocessed memories that EMDR is designed to address.
In other words, you do not have to have a diagnosed condition or a dramatic story to benefit from EMDR. Many people come to EMDR because they feel stuck in patterns they cannot seem to shift through insight alone. They understand why they react a certain way, but understanding has not been enough to change it. That is often a sign that the work needs to happen at a deeper level than conversation can reach.
What EMDR Can and Cannot Do
EMDR is genuinely powerful, and it is also not a magic fix. It works best when you have a skilled, trained therapist guiding the process, when there is enough safety and stability in place before active processing begins, and when you are willing to sit with some discomfort as memories surface and shift.
It is also worth knowing that some people feel emotionally tired after sessions, particularly in the early stages of active processing. That is normal. Your brain is doing real work. Most people find that this settles between sessions, and that the overall trajectory is one of things feeling lighter over time, not heavier.
Moreover, EMDR is not the only path forward. A good therapist will work with you to determine what approach fits your specific situation, your history, and your goals. Sometimes EMDR is the right tool from the beginning. Other times, it is something you work toward once a strong therapeutic foundation is in place.
Thinking About EMDR in Northern Virginia?
If you have been curious about EMDR therapy and want to explore whether it might be right for you, the most important next step is talking with a trained therapist who can give you an honest, individualized answer.
Stephanie Kaiser is our EMDR-trained therapist at Mid-Atlantic Psychotherapy. She offers in-person sessions at our Vienna, VA office, as well as telehealth appointments across Virginia. Stephanie brings warmth, clinical depth, and genuine expertise to this work, and she is experienced in helping people decide whether EMDR is the right fit for what they are carrying.
Mid-Atlantic Psychotherapy providers are in-network with Anthem, CareFirst, BlueCross BlueShield, and FEP BCBS. Visit our website to learn more about the types of therapy our clinicians provide or book a free 20-minute consultation. Additionally, we are happy to run a complimentary benefits check for you so that figuring out your coverage is one less thing standing between you and getting started.
Interested in Reading More?
- American Psychological Association. “Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy.”
- EMDR International Association (EMDRIA). “The Eight Phases of EMDR Therapy.”
- Shapiro, F. and Maxfield, L. (2002). “EMDR: Information Processing in the Treatment of Trauma.” Journal of Clinical Psychology, 58(8), 933–946.
About the Author
Christina Moynihan is the Owner of Mid-Atlantic Psychotherapy, a web-based psychotherapy practice aimed at helping overwhelmed individuals prioritize their mental health. With over twenty years of professional clinical social work experience, she has had the honor of working with populations suffering from grief and loss, HIV/AIDS, addiction/harm reduction and recovery, perinatal challenges, systemic racism and injustice, mental health struggles, and trauma. Since 2015, she has also served as an adjunct professor at her alma mater, Mount Saint Mary’s University. With the desire to reduce the challenges people face attempting to access mental health care, Christina created Mid-Atlantic Psychotherapy in 2023. In her time away from work, Christina is an exhausted parent of two amazing children and strives to be a positive role model for them.